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Monday, August 10, 2009

Uncle Bob Leaks Top Secret Info On The Nikon D700X

This Monday is a special Uncle Bob report! I'm about to pass on some juicy TOP SECRET Nikon info on the Nikon D700X that NO one is supposed to know, not even me, good 'ole Uncle Bob.

There's a lot of rumors flying around about this new fan-dangled DSLR that some say Nikon is calling the D700X. Some of them are pretty close to the mark, and some of the D700X rumors are just full of horse hockey. Regardless, what Uncle Bob is about to tell you now about the Nikon D700X (we'll call it the D700X for the sake of argument) is probably going to blow your mind, at least a large chunk of it anyway.

I'd love to start off by telling you how I came to find out about this TOP SECRET D700X info, but I can't. I can tell you it's a VERY long story involving some shady characters, an overnight trip to Bangkok, and a man named Mud, but trust me when I tell you, Uncle Bob did a little bleedin', lots of sweatin', and some runnin' before he got back home with this story.

Some of you have probably heard the rumors that NASA has been working with Nikon on the development of the Nikon D700X. The reason for that is that NASA wanted a suped up DSLR for some missions they have planned, and nothing out there fit the bill. Rumor around NASA headquarters in Washington has it that they went to Nikon because Canon's auto focus problems are even worse in zero G out in space. That, and the fact that NASA is a stickler for quality control and Canon isn't, put NASA working with Nikon on the new D700X.

Now don't get me wrong, the NASA version of the Nikon D700X isn't anything like the one you and I will be able to buy in stores shortly, and I can't even get into the differences with you here in this article. They'd likely have me whisked away, locked up in a little room somewhere, and you'd never hear from your good 'ole Uncle Bob again if I even breathed a whisper of what NASA's D700X cameras can do. Anyways, them's the reasons why NASA got together with Nikon to work on the new D700X.

What I can tell you is that you're going to LOVE the Nikon D700X that will be available to the public! Uncle Bob can't wait to get his hands on one (again). There's some tricks in the new D700X that will leave you smiling like a doggie lying on his back gettin' a full belly scratch. This ain't no D3X in a D700 body. I mean, yeah, it's got some of the Nikon D700 in it, but the D700X is a different beast. It's got bigger fangs and sharper claws than D700. The D700X ain't your Momma's DSLR!

Imagine a new tricked out auto focus system that makes anything you've seen on a DSLR look like a blind man's glasses. Uncle Bob ain't sayin' anythings for sure, but the D700X just might have something like that.

Imagine video like you've never seen from a DSLR, and imagine full auto focus with it. I ain't sayin' a thing, but you might not be wrong to think the D700X is gonna do that too.

Imagine auto ISO for the video, and a new tweaked up version of auto ISO that works like you won't believe, Nikon D700X style. Psst... that just might be on the D700X menu too.

How about voice recognition? Didn't think of that one, did you? I ain't sayin' a thing, but maybe you'll be saying somethin' to your new D700X and it'll listen.

And what about that vari-angle LCD thingie on the D5000? Wouldn't that be neat to have on a DSLR like the D700X? Well what if someone, not Uncle Bob mind you, but what if someone told you that the D700X went one better... has an LCD like nothin' else does... all futuristic like. NASA has a few tricks you don't know about, and you can bet Nikon got their back rubbed after rubbing NASA's.

How many of you wish your DSLR batteries lasted longer? I mean sure, they last real good right now, but what if they could last for 10,000 shots or more? What if you could put a battery in your Nikon D700X and not have to recharge it for a couple months, all the while you're happily shooting a few hundred D700X photos a day? You don't think NASA has some space age battery technology that you just might not know about? They are the National SPACE Agency you know!

Anyways, that's probably about as far as Uncle Bob can safely go in spilling the Nikon D700X beans. Any more, and I'm liable to get tasered and dropped in the back of a white van that no one sees speeding away.

As far as NASA using their versions of the Nikon D700X, well, think bigger than you normally do.

Think small satelites that are essentially D700X DSLR's with mini rocket boosters and a few high-tech satelite communications dishes welded on. Course I'm simplifying it, but you get the picture.

Think NASA version D700X cameras mounted in the nose of the space shuttle, with special SUPER high tech lenses that can withstand higher heat than the shuttle itself and capable of resolving INCREDIBLE detail coupled with the D700X, soon to be legendary, pinpoint accuracy auto focus.

Think even bigger! Think NASA version Nikon D700X bodies built into the frame of the new space station NASA is workin' on that the public doesn't know about. Each D700X fully remote controlled from both NASA headquarters in DC as well as from aboard the space station itself and from aboard the space shuttles.

Uncle Bob knows his readers are a smart bunch, and I think you're probably startin' to see why your Uncle Bob is so gosh darned excited about this little D700X beauty. So here's Uncle Bob's sign-off advice...

Start saving your pennies now. You're gonna want a new Nikon D700X when it hits the shelf, not matter what the cost. Mortgage the house, sell the dog, get your wife a second job... just make sure you got the cash ready to plop down when your Nikon man has that shiny new D700X box sittin' in front of you!

Happy Nikon D700X Dreams!

See you next Monday,
Uncle Bob.


The Wallbanger said...

Sounds like NASA needs remote cameras to inspect the shuttle for body damage or missing heat-shielding tiles while the spacecraft is in orbit.

Anonymous said...

ey! Told you to shut up, but seems you weren't listening! We'll be seeing you shortly!

mart477 said...

Has anyone seen Uncle Bob around?
He seems to have disappeared.

I mortgaged the house and sold the wife to a sweat shop, but I must keep my best friend to keep me company while I wait.

My understanding is that the 24mp sensor yield is so bad that there won't be any D700Xs soon.

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