Alright folks, I just had a long conversation with my source inside the deep dark bowels of the Canon Empire, and I'm pumped.
I think Canon has got their ducks lined up, and their shotgun primed and loaded. That shotgun is a brand new one that'll be coming to a store near you very soon... the totally re-worked Canon 1D MkIV!
Now, as most of you know, your good ol' Uncle Bob has been kinda bummed out with Canon lately. Their auto focus issues have been nothing short of redonkulous, and they're letting Nikon clobber them. It's depressing to see a company like Canon, the company that brought us so many great cameras in the past, letting themselves go. It's like seeing a supermodel you had the hots for as a kid, and barely recognizing her because she now weighs over four hundred pounds.
Uncle Bob knows Canon has it in them to rise again, and Uncle Bob REALLY knows that, now that I've spoken to my Canon insider, Uncle Bob's own Deepthroat.
Now obviously I'm not supposed to tell you any of this, and Deepthroat wasn't supposed to tell your good ol' Uncle Bob any of this, but hey... that's how people find stuff out, right?
It's no secret that Canon's DSLR lineup has had some pretty bad auto focus problems. The Canon 1D Mk3 is probably the most famous for its auto focus boondoggle, but the problem has been prevalent on a lot of the Canon DSLR cameras. The
5D MkII is the latest to be causing a stir about its auto focus issues, but pretty much every Canon DSLR Uncle Bob has shot with has had soft focus and out of focus problems. According to Deepthroat, the new Canon 1D MkIV will put an end to all that.
The Canon 1D MkIV will feature Canon's ALL NEW, rebuilt from the ground up, revolutionary new DSLR auto focus system. Imagine 77 finely tuned auto focus points, working in synchronicity to achieve a focus lock that the
Nikon D700X can only dream about! As Vanilla Ice said, the 1D MkIV auto focus will "slice like a ninja, cut like a razorblade."
Low light focus is going to blow your mind! Turn off all the lights, strip down your wife, and watch the Canon 1D MkIV lock in all the good stuff boys! We're talking nipples that are sharp as a tack, and not because you're such a good lookin' fella!
Apparently Canon made some major break throughs in the designing of their new auto focus system that the 1D MkIV sports, and they had a little help doing it. Believe it or not, a few years back the Russians developed some crazy weird new ballistic missile targeting system that never made it out of the prototype stages, and Canon was able to get its hands on one of the prototypes to study.
Turns out Canon was able to use the underlying technology in the Russian missile targeting system to build upon for their revolutionary new DSLR auto focus system. They reverse engineered one specific part of the Russian targeting system, and with a few tweaks and modifications by Canon, the foundation of the 1D MkIV's auto focus system was born.
Who'd a thunk, eh folks! Russian technology ending up in a Japanese DSLR that'll be the joy of American photographers everywhere. Your good ol' Uncle Bob sure wouldn't guessed this one!
But who gives a peanut in a paper cup how Canon came up with the fix to their auto focus problem? Uncle Bob sure doesn't! As long as the new 1D MkIV can nail the shot, Uncle Bob will be a happy camper, as will thousands of other soft focus plagued Canon shooters!
Bring it on Canon! Bring it out! Give us the 1D MkIV! Let us push that golden trigger button and see how sharp our pictures can be. It's ok Canon. We'll forgive you for all the thousands of out of focus shots we've had to live with. That's all in the past. We want to believe! We want to wave the Canon flag with pride again!
On a somewhat lower note, Deepthroat wasn't able to confirm if the coming
Canon 7Dwill have the new auto focus system. Apparently there's an internal debate on this one within the Canon Empire.
One side wants the 7D to have the new auto focus system. They argue that the faster they can put Canon's auto focus problems in the past, the better it will be for the company, not to mention that loyal Canon shooters deserve a DSLR that can focus.
The other side wants to save the new auto focus system for the release of the new 1D MkIV. They argue that it'll make the hype and ensuing sales of the 1D MkIV that much better. While they probably have a point here, is it fair to put out yet another DSLR with the same smeared poop in a baby diaper auto focus that the 5D MkII has?
In any case, whether it's on the Canon 7D or the 1D Mark IV, we're going to see an end to Canon autofocus problems soon! Let's hope it's on the 7D!
See you next Monday,
Uncle Bob.
