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Monday, July 27, 2009

Uncle Bob tells Joe McNally, "Enough is Enough!"

Okay people, I know you've been thinking the same thing I have, that Joe McNally needs to be told, so Uncle Bob is going to be your voice... the voice of photographers around the world, so listen up Joe!

I'll give you the short version first Mr. Joe McNally... ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

What's that you say Joe? Enough of what?

As if you don't know!

Enough of the fancy shmancy photography already! You're making it really hard for the rest of us to do our jobs! How in the name of Kodachrome are we supposed to make our clients happy when they're looking at your suped up, slicked back, sick, pants around your crotch with your underwear showing for all to see because you're so cool, pictures and comparing them to ours!

You're clearly not thinking of anyone but yourself Joe. What about the rest of us photographers?

You're not the only one trying to earn a living with your camera you know!

How do you expect us to satisfy our clients when they can go to, your fancy pancy website with your ohhhhh so good pictures and see what they could have got if they booked you?

How Joe? How? Uncle Bob and the rest of the photographers on this planet want to know!

It's really not fair at all Mr. Joe "I'm Michael Jordan with a camera" McNally. I mean, you have some pretty MAJOR unfair advantages. The deck is stacked in your favour. The Nikon gear, the Nikon photo shoots, the Nikon Speedlight DVD's... just look at this slick looking DVD ad from Geez! Our clients can't even go shopping without getting hit over the head with you getting all in their face with "look how great my photos are" ads.

(by the way, I really liked the video... I've got your older one too... still trying to figure it all out... Uncle Bob's no spring chicken you know... BUT HEY! Don't get me off topic! I mad at you!)

The government should fine you like they did Microsoft for breaking the anti-trust laws and creating a monopoly on good photography. You can't have it all Joe. Bill Gates had to learn the hard way. Maybe it's time the government took Mr. Joe McNally down a notch.

And it's not just the Nikon stuff Joe! No, you have go and be a National Geographic celebrity, Time, Sports Illustrated, Newsweek, GEO, Fortune, Business Week, LIFE, New York, Mens Journal... where does it end Joe? Does Joe McNally have to get all the best gigs?

(loved the "Future of Flying" by the way... some awesome photos in that article - FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, MCNALLLY! I'm trying to make a point here, stop distracting me!)

I mean, just look at this photo you shot of the Pegasus!

Nikon Shooter Joe McNally X-47A Pegasus for National Geographic
photo by Joe McNally, from National Geographic's "Future of Flying"

Did you really have to light it so freakin' awesomely? Really Joe?

The rest of us don't all have 4, 236 Nikon SB-900 Speedlights with 10 British Secret Service Agents carrying them around for us Joe. You're hardly making it a level playing field.

Or what about this one Joe? Showing the rest of us up with the torchy dude twirling fire and all...

Nikon Shooter Joe McNally Torchy Dude Photo
photo by Joe McNally -

Was the beautiful balance of ambient, fire, and subject lighting really neccessary Joe? Really?

Or what about this one of James the welder dude I just got in your email...

Nikon Joe McNally The Welder Dude Photo
photo by Joe McNally -

Do you have to be so good with the Speedlights Joe? I mean we ain't even talking big powerful strobes here! Speedlights Joe... you're showing us up with Speedlights!

So I'm pleadin' with you here Joe. Do you think Joe McNally could save some awesome for the rest of us? Can you leave a little WOW Juice in the jug so we can have a little drink?

And for crying out loud... do you really need to haul out the 5, 672 freakin' SB-900's at every gig? Come on Joe! You're making yourself look good just from shear speedlight volume, not to mention the platoon of US Army Rangers you got carrying them all around for you.

That's all Uncle Bob's askin' Joe. Just leave a little for the rest of us mere photographer mortals.

Sure you wrote a book or two to try and teach us about how you do it. I know, I know, you thought that would make up for it.

And the DVD's, yeah... we covered those. They're good Joe, sure.

But you're killing us here Joe. Killing us!

Just a little Joe... just a little. That's all good ole Uncle Bob is asking.

For the all the rest of us photographers Joe... think of the rest of us. And think of little Tiny Tim at Christmas too Joe. Maybe he'd like to be a photographer someday.

See you next Monday,
Uncle Bob
Uncle Bob


phil (fromwaterbury) said...

Happy Birthday Joe!

niagaragirl said...

Just got The HotShoe Diaries. Great read so far.